I believe these were all brought on by what is called an "autonomous complex" -- I don't know why I drew them, or what they mean, but I was compelled to draw them...
I have so many drawings from this time and previous, but these ones I share on this Blog really left a lasting impression for me. Back then, I never really thought about or reflected on why or what I was drawing... I rarely titled or dated them either. Probably because I produced so many. I think perhaps the drawings above were when I was on my three year hiatus from university. Outside of studio work (mostly sketches and drawings/paintings from real life and models) I did quite a few "non Fine Art". A majority of these drawings had snakes, birds and half-human/animal creatures, or symbols like hieroglyphics, and all sorts of strange combinations of beasts or unknown people. I also liked angels, stags, lions and other big cats, dogs, rodents, various winged animals, and things inspired from the books I would read. Rarely I would incorporate myself and someone else I knew into my drawings. Rarely I would draw something that was mildly disturbing and wonder why I did it. I didn't really care to show people those drawings.
The images below are from my print class in university: these would have been when I was in the Fine Arts Program. I had to submit a portfolio of art to be accepted early into the studio classes, which I succeeded in doing. I dropped out of that program and switched to Arts Education. I didn't have the stomach for 'Fine Art' and the workload was hard - although I think if I could eliminated my mandatory elective courses I would have been just fine. I was 17 when I started University, so I was a bit young and not used to how the world worked or how to make decisions or choices for myself. Perhaps I went along too much with my parental guidance. They were, after all, the ones paying for my education that I was told I had to take in some form or another. Perhaps it was because some of my professors had mouths bigger than their brains, or brains bigger than their hearts (except you, Jack Cowan - you're the man - and those fish prints were awesome). I don't think I was deliberately rebellious or lazy, but I lacked self-discipline and motivation. I might have even not wanted to listen because they seemed so confident and I felt so insecure. I also had a fright when I found out that we had to 'defend' our art in front of people if we intended to get our Masters in Art. Nowadays, from my current perspective, that seems hardly a problem, but back then, I was expecting some sort of Spanish Inquisition!
More drawings below... I think they might have even been from high school when I was 16 or 17 years old.
-- I still had a lot of weird imagination: I drew this child from a Children's Wish Foundation ad in a magazine. She seemed to be someone going through a lot of silent pain, so I felt I could identify with her. And when I was in pain, I took myself away from it by reading or drawing. Hence the little characters coming to visit the little girl in the picture (to transport her away from the situation). If you look behind the little girl on the bed, you will see the shaft of light: this symbolizes the light in the hallway for me that I refused to sleep without. I would cry without my Light. Too scary. If there was no light, I would stare wide-eyed into the darkness until it seemed to swirl and move... 'Please don't shut the door and please leave the light in the hallway on'...
-- I've always liked dragons. The stories I read had them as wise supreme beings, although not gods & not quite supernatural. Immense. Ancient. Once in a while I would read about dragons who had psychic and emotional connections with their riders: they were a faithful team. Others seemed to have a weakness or flaw that somehow made them more human. Some were supremely evil or disturbed, but most were kind, or at least willing to partner themselves with us puny humans because they saw something valuable within us, even small as we are.
-- I love wings and I love horses. And I love C.S. Lewis. If you have ever read The Magician's Nephew & the rest of the Chronicles of Narnia, you will know what I am talking about. Again, I felt a connection, not just with horses, but with all nature.
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