Re-Edited: What I found out happened at Christmas 2010

I had to re-post this because the old post would not let me remove someone's name from the website address URL.  Please read from the bottom of this post (original email) and upwards to get the correct chronological sequence of emails:


From: Holly

Sent: Tuesday, February 01, 2011 10:22 AM
To: a relative
 

OMG... My mom is so sick. And dad must not be right in the head. What's to stop him from calling his own family and mom when my nosy mother isn't around breathing down his neck getting him to do housework and run around for her while she's visiting her lady friends (I'm sure they will come to the realization just how much of a trainwreck my mom really is, or perhaps some of them are already clued into it already). 

Well, it must have been a bit of a sting of recognition when I hung up on MY mom (Sandi) this weekend. Although judging by the lame (and endless) message she left on our answering machine I get the feeling she is completely oblivious that she ever did anything in that respect. Basically here is the email I sent my mom through my dad (as mom claims she never emails). I would copy the email "they" sent to me in the first place, but I could tell it wasn't from my dad, it was from my mom. Who else would go nosing about asking about stuff they think they know about? Not dad. Mom got info from some contractor/builder type and seemed to completely forget we don't have a crawlspace or a basement. Whatevs... lol

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(here is the response I sent my dad regarding a message "he" sent us on Facebook... )

"Hi Dad,

Hm, well there IS no crawl space. We're on a cement pad... lol

We have a guy who is coming to check things out for windows, and we are going to check the attic again ourselves to make sure it has adequate insulation. We got it cased, but thanks for the info.

Also if you could remind mom of something for us. We do not want to have anything to do with real estate. If she wants to check her ad for Osler St. she can do so online or call the Leader-Post. If she wants to talk to me like I'm an idiot, I'll at least expect to get paid for it, like a property manager, if I was willing to be one, which I am not. I was not in the least concerned that she doesn't have property on Albert St. What made me hang up the phone was the tone which she used with me. I had intended to call this weekend but the way we were treated the last little while has really raised my ire.

Just wanted to make sure, are the Snowblower and the Lawnmower considered ours, or is there some kind of hidden contract stating that we have to drop everything we're doing on a whim to drop one of these machines off at one of yours and mom's houses at any time? And if they are not ours, we will gladly return them as soon as we get our own Snowblower and Lawnmower. And is there a similar expectation with the Dehumidifier, in which case we will be happy to refund the money.

Please don't call us, we'll call you.

-Holls-"

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So the response on our answering machine (according to David who gave me the gist because I certainly didn't feel like listening to it) was that she would NEVER ever ask us to lend out the landmower or the snowblower as they were GIFTS (well that's what we thought but her actions proved otherwise last time she visited) and of COURSE we didn't have to send her the money for the dehumidifier. Apparently she also attempted to launch into all the times her and dad were good to us, ie when we came up from the US and stayed with them, and when they let us pay lower rent for the smallest crampiest and mouldiest places she rented out to people and did renovations in WHILE we were living in them... But she ran out of room on the tape. Naturally she made it sound like she was horrified that I would think such a thing, and said this is the 'last call you'll get from me but I will let you call me from now on' etc, etc. I feel a responding email about all the times she was 'good' to me, that I will finally get off my chest a few things and as far as I know these emails come across my dad first, so he's going to read it first.

Anyway, if necessary we'll get a feature that allows us to block her calls. It's included anyway as we pay for I think it's 8 features for $12 or something like that. 

For now, I'm letting her stew. And I know my dad is a swell fellow, but I can't help be resentful that he always takes my mom's side and doesn't just up and get the hell out of there. BAIL! BAIL! He ran away from home twice when he lost his job, why doesn't he bloody well do it now?

Very nice to hear from you... I tell you, her actions aren't helping her any, she's actually strengthening my resolve to do the Split. The big apron string cut.

-Holls-

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EMAIL RESPONSE (Generalized to protect sender's identity):

My relative can certainly understand the frustration with my Mom:

The latest thing is that Mom (and Dad) called Grandma before Christmas and Mom started rehashing the whole reunion thing. My mom had advised relatives she would NEVER discuss this with Grandma. But she did. She went on and on and on and on…and Grandma gets so stressed whenever she calls any more – anyway! Even when she’s not rehashing the reunion thing… just because how Mom controls the conversation and never lets Grandma talk to her own son!! And this is the first time Mom actually brought up the STUPID reunion thing with Grandma. Grandma got so stressed she said some things she regrets! She told Mom…”you forget that I was right there when it all happened.” And my Mom was trying to use all these excuses as to why she behaved that way….and when Grandma said that to her, my Mom said, "Well we’ll never call you again!" and hung up on Grandma. Grandma feels bad about it – only because of her son, my Dad!! Grandma was upset that whole day stewing about it. I was pretty angry when I got home. 

Nice Christmas hello eh!!

So now it looks like they will never stay at my Grandma's house again because people are starting to stand up to her and this is her way of getting back at everyone.  And now they won’t call.  Everyone feels really bad for my Dad.  It’s not fair that he can’t have a relationship with his own Mother – when she’s 91 and who knows how long she’ll still be around!! 

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From: Holly

Sent: Tuesday, February 01, 2011 9:20 AM

I mentioned to my relative (who had cautioned me about posting something on Facebook) that my Dad can't see my wall, 

he can't see my posts, and he can't see other people's posts to me.

And for specific photo albums that contain certain other relatives, for instance, I have also blocked my Dad out of respect for those who want some privacy.

-Holls-