GOLDEN CHILD

How to become the GC--assuming you want to.
contributed by R.B. in our Daughters Recovering From Narcissistic Mothers Facebook Group

I was a GC growing up. Sometimes the GC's are also N's. I wasn't. I've actually always had a very low opinion of myself. But I was the GC as opposed to my SC brother, who ironically thinks very well of himself. He didn't bow to the games. If something was going on that was absolutely whack, he'd voice his disapproval of it. That's why he was the SC. I am now the family outcast, because I stopped putting up with the bull, and began calling people out on it. N's can't stand that. I have another brother who was GC in childhood, and is still one today because he makes excuses for NM and will defend her at all costs. My sister is, and was, pretty much the IC--Invisible Child. She got lost in the shuffle.

Here are the rules that allow a GC to remain one, in good standing:

1. Never need anything. Don't draw attention to yourself in any way. Never complain when you are deprived of something, especially when it's for a noble cause--such as, the N needs to spend the money on herself, which leaves none to spend on you. This is why you go to school in shabby outdated clothes, only allowed to bathe once a week because hot water and grooming supplies cost too much money, bravely facing ridicule from your peers. Meanwhile the budget for the grownups' beer and cigarettes is always unlimited, even if it means confiscating the money Grandma gave you for your birthday. There is nothing wrong with this. Remember--you have no needs.

2. You are not allowed your own opinion. If you express any thought at all, it must echo whatever the N thinks. Anything contrary to that, and you'll be accused of "talking back," also known as "being a smart-aleck." No punishment is too severe for such a heinous crime. You can be slapped in the face so hard your nose bleeds, but remember it's YOUR fault, because you "got smart" and deserved it.

3. You must learn to read minds. When the rules change at a moment's notice, you go along with it, without mentioning that the rules were different only this morning. You must know instinctively whether the behavior that was applauded yesterday will be shot down today, simply because N is in a bad mood. Asking first will get you scorned and scolded for not using your own head, while sometimes thinking for yourself will get you praise for taking the initiative, and other times it will get you punished for not asking first. You must always know instinctively which rule will apply in what situation, this time.

4. Show no negative emotions at all, under any circumstances. If you're a baby, be one of those "good" babies who "almost never cries." If you're older, remember that the definition of "good" is still "almost never cries." So don't. When things are chaotic, don't react to it. Sit quietly in a corner and read a book. Even if you happen to be sitting on a rattlesnake, let it bite you without complaint.

5. Always remember: Do as the N says, not as the N does.

Adhering perfectly to all of these rules, at all times, will ensure your GC status.

____________________________________

http://narcissistschild.blogspot.ca/2012/04/scapegoat-or-golden-child-victims-of.html
Scapegoat or Golden Child: victims of narcissistic apartheid
by Violet


http://kikimatters.blogspot.ca/2012/03/golden-child-shows-up-unexpectedly.html
The Hardest Battle
a blog by Kiki
Like a narcissistic Golden Child does. related links: the golden child's child --  http://kikimatters.blogspot.ca/2011/09/golden-childs-child.html


http://www.narcissism101.com/NarcissistsinPrivate/narcissisticpare.html
Various Roles: Scapegoat, Golden Child
NARCISSM 101


http://onlyraisedone.blogspot.ca/2008/08/golden-child.html
Blog: My Momma Only Raised One Dummy
by Cinder Ella
Then reality hit. Suddenly I could see being The Golden Child as the curse it truly is.


http://blog.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/2009/03/07/the-narcissistic-golden-child-the-ultimate-taker.aspx
Narcissistic Golden Child-Ultimate Taker
http://blog.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/
The golden child is psychologically fused with the narcissistic mother and is revered and even considered as some kind of deity.  
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
Email:lmlphd@gmail.com


http://whatprivilege.com/how-the-golden-child-upbringing-is-abusive/
How the “golden child” upbringing is abusive
by Jennifer Kesler


http://narcissisticmotherinlaw.blogspot.ca/2012/07/narcissist-golden-child-without-limits.html
The Narcissist - A Golden Child Without Limits
Posted by John Brocke


http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-doc/201110/hes-such-mommas-boy
Plumbing the depths of the psychology and neurobiology of love.
He's Such a Momma's Boy: What to do when his mother is the other woman
by Frances Cohen Praver, Ph.D.


http://ca.askmen.com/dating/heidi_100/109_dating_girl.html
Why Women Don't Like Mama's Boys (click NEXT PAGE link at the bottom of the page to continue reading)
by AskMen: Become a Better Man


http://mommyish.com/stuff/the-ultimate-relationship-downer-marrying-a-mommas-boy/
The Ultimate Relationship Downer: Marrying A Momma’s Boy
344 days ago by Bolaji Williams


http://blog.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/2009/08/25/narcissistic-daddys-girls.aspx
Narcissistic Daddy's Girls
related link:
Narcissistic Daddy's Girls Despise Men -- http://blog.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/2012/05/23/narcissistic-daddys-girls-despise-men-.aspx
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation
Email:lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife.com


http://thesanctuary-spacetraveller.blogspot.ca/2012/03/daddys-little-princess.html
Daddy's little princess
The Sanctuary blog by Spacetraveller


http://blogs.news.com.au/womenonmen/index.php/news/comments/the_daddys_girl_dynamic
The Daddy’s Girl Dynamic?
by Emma-Kate Dobbin


http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/daddys_princess.htm
Healthy Father - Daughter Relationships (also has links to Momma's Boy info)
soulwork.net


http://idiotsguides.com/static/quickguides/selfhelp/coping_with_a_narcissistic_parent_or_sibling.html
Coping with a Narcissistic Parent or Sibling
The Complete Idiot's Guide
From The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Coping with Difficult People by Arlene Matthews Uhl