I must update this Post.... lol Thank you Violet, I needed that reminder...
How to tell the real help from
the fake (and not just the Dr. Phil's of the world, who aren't really
licensed psychologists but have TV shows and the like):
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
10 Ways to Find a Good Therapist http://explorewhatsnext.com/10-ways-to-find-a-good-therapist/
Find a Therapist: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php
http://www.apa.org/ or http://locator.apa.org/
http://www.cpa.ca/
http://www.psychology.org.au/
http://www.bps.org.uk/
http://www.helium.com/items/538447-how-to-tell-if-your-psychiatrist-is-a-quack
http://www.ratemds.com/
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/
http://www.guidetopsychology.com/choosing.htm
http://www.guidetopsychology.com/cln_cns.htm
http://www.all-about-psychology.com/fake-psychologist.html
http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_index.php?idx=119&d=1&w=482&e=41071
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBAF0AFC457D5493E&feature=plcp
Helpful info:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201205/
http://www.angelfire.com/zine2/narcissism/narcissism_caution_internet.html
Basically if you aren't sure, or you get a bad feeling, the best place to check would be whatever your local board or association of psychology/psychiatric/therapists is called. If you just have a therapist who is under-trained, inexperienced, or doesn't have any expertise in your area of need, look elsewhere. Remember to ASK for specifics when you're shopping around: are they licensed, how many years have they been working, what is their area of expertise? Do they know anything about dysfunctional families, enmeshment, narcissism. Can they resist society's pressure to view the mother as sacred? Can they empower you, can they give you some help with your confidence and assertiveness? Can they refer you to other resources? Do they seem to help you, or do you just find yourself going back again and again and not getting anywhere?
You are the consumer, you are paying for a service. You have the right to ask questions, and you have the right to stop treatment with someone that you don't think is helping you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sam Vaknin: poses as a support for Narcissism in various online groups, is a published author, etc... But also has admitted and been diagnosed as being a Psychopath. He is associated with a female follower called Femfree. He definitely has a very unique point of view, and is happy to share his own life experiences on the subject, but be careful not to take everything he says to heart: he is NOT a psychologist or a doctor in the medical sense. He is a highly accomplished Narcissist, but some of what he writes are his own OPININONS, and not necessarily proven or tested in the psychological or medical community. My advice would be to avoid him completely.
Here are some links giving information on Sam Vaknin: http://forum2.aimoo.com/narcissisticpersonalitydisorder/category/
http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/vaknin.asp
http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.ca/search?q=Sam+Vaknin
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Who_is_Sam_Vaknin
http://enpsychopedia.org/index.php/Sam_Vaknin
http://heliologue.com/2006/07/03/sam-vaknins-self-love/
http://narcissism-support.blogspot.ca/2009/03/sam-vakin-diagnosed-psychopath.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Vaknin
http://masksofsanity.blogspot.com/2009/12/psychopath-sam-vaknin-expose.html
http://bnarcissisticabuserecovery.runboard.com/t11990
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/4727
http://samvak.tripod.com/incest.html
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/4920
http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/02/05/incest.therapy.phillips/index.html
http://thepsychopath.freeforums.org/post157588.html
Excerpt:
In one of his repetitively & compulsivelye posted online articles, Vaknin reveals in his own words the reason he really runs the Narcissism 'Support' Groups all over the net and so on....
"There is nothing to be learned from the answers to these questions because each individual has her own threshold. No, I simply enjoy the momentary ability to inflict traumatic pain (emotional pain - I am not the physical type and will never harm a woman physically). It is as close as I can get to omnipotence. It is the perfect gender revenge.'...
"As a Jew I would have done the same to Nazis. As a victim of a woman, I celebrate with unrestrained glee my ability to degrade women, to humiliate them, to frustrate them, to make them beg for life itself, for they see their (often imagined) relationship with me as life itself. This is why I abstain from sex. This is why I dazzle them with my intellect and charm and wit and knowledge, with unprecedented intrusive interest in their petty, boring, housewivish lives - and then I let go abruptly. At this stage, they are so brittle, so vulnerable that they crash to a million shreds with the crystalline sound of agony."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
PLEASE USE EXTREME CAUTION; please take the time to make up your own mind about the following... I just want to make sure you are aware of these things in case (because of our upbringing) we show a blindspot to some behaviours:
If you ever come across Barbara Mentor, Antoinette Hdic, or Nikki Lebron be advised that although they have many resources and encourage to gather knowledge about Narcissistic Mothers, they have been known to make personal attacks on people.
EXTREME CAUTION: - Barbara Mentor has made plenty of personal attacks on people who say they are trying to decide on whether to go LC or NC. On some of the groups I have been on, or some of the others, she is not told to stop by the admin staff, but is allowed to run rampant and pretty much run the site as well as make it her personal crusade to bully people into becoming NC. For her it's NC or the highway, although ironically she is apparently still in contact with her Narcissistic husband. Aliases: Camwell, Ness
WARNING: Watch out everyone, I got word from another group that Barbara Mentor has a new group at DoNM Freedom! (Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers) https://www.facebook.com/groups/405538969464208/ -- she's hacked into a members of other groups. This is what Barbara Mentor does when you aren't loyal to her group only... She hacks your Facebook account... Barbara Mentor (AKA Barbara Camwell Ness) has been seen in several other groups as members, as well. She is posting links as Barbara Victim-Survivor. She has been the cause of groups closing down completely. She ingratiates herself with some group members by posting huge amounts of useful/helpful information, and also communicates with them in Private Messages and if you don't do what she wants she uses intimidation, shame, and other tactics. Some of her flying monkeys/associates feel as strongly as her about bullying people to leave their Narcissistic Mother, even when they are not ready to do so. She will say they are stupid or question their intelligence, or make them feel bad for not leaving right away. She seems to forget that she is married to a N man. Somehow she forgets that a daughter leaving an N mother has to have a plan, has to have confidence in herself, has to convince herself she is not a bad daughter for protecting herself, etc: it's a different amount of time for different people. Some women/children of N mothers actually have to save up money, or move to a woman's shelter. Some have to get protection orders or move away secretly. Some fear that their mothers will take their children away from them. My youngest brother stopped communicating with my parents years before I stopped. He didn't hold a grudge against me for that. No one, not Barbara, not your N mother, nobody should tell you to do things you aren't ready to do.
Some more info: caution -- MAY CAUSE TRIGGERS: I think (from some of the information I've been reading) Mary McGrannahan was an unfortunate victim of identity theft and now Barb uses her name and not sure about Sherri Mitchell as there are pictures on the links below and on this site http://therealsherrimitchell.blogspot.com/ that are identical?? (thanks for that info Melissa)... But here are some more links regarding Barbara Mentor/Barbara Victim-Survivor/Camwell/Ness/Mary/Sherri or whoever's names she's using: same stuff comes up on all websites I've Googled - this person is a hacker, is in trouble with the law for Identity Theft and Fraud and is a psychopath (among some even more unsavory information): I think (from some of the information I've been reading) Mary McGrannahan was an unfortunate victim of identity theft and now Barb uses her name and probably Sherri Mitchell's... (please be advised that some are secure sites and you may have to copy and paste them into a new browser as they will not easily go from Facebook) --- http://liarscheatersrus.com/barbara-camwell-2.html -- http://scottshcybercriminals.blogspot.ca/2012/06/
Sounds about as bad as Sam Vaknin, if you ask me!
-----------------------
Nikki Lebron and Antoinette Hdic: they are sisters. They shut down their Facebook group without warning anyone... Left several hundred members floundering and panicking... It all stemmed from when they, the administrators of their group, very publicly humiliated and smeared Barbara Mentor all over their Facebook Group's wall before unceremoniously banning her from the group. It sent a lot of insecure group members into high alert and stress, and several members left before the group was killed off by the very women that made it. Nikki has her own website at http://daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.webs.com/ I am not saying do not go to this site, I am just letting you know what happened to me (and possibly others). I was banned from this website because I sent a private message on FB to them stating that I was not impressed by their methods and that it made it look like our support group was perpetuating Narcissistic behaviour. I did not publicly smear them on the FB wall. But I was booted off that website. No explanation. When I emailed back Antoinette to ask if there was a mistake I received no reply. When I attempted to join again I am not responded to. So that was the end of my association with the above ladies mentioned.
Hopefully if you ever happen to meet up with them or use the same support forums you do not encounter this behaviour. Hopefully your experience will be better than mine and several others.
-----------------------
Danu and Light of: http://daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/
It has come to my attention recently that several people have been banned for no reason (over the years), or banned for saying they believe in God or whatever religion they are proud to be a part of. I have never been a member of that group, however I have several postings/resources in our Files regarding Narcissism... I did not post things I did not agree with on that website (some of which are contained in the links below), I only posted things that I thought might be helpful to the group...
Here are some people's own testimony/opinion/experience with that website.
http://wordsfromthedaughterofanarcissist.blogspot.ca/2010/12/beware-popular-donm-forum-preys-on.html
http://dealingwithtoxicpeople.blogspot.ca/2010_12_01_archive.html
http://dealingwithtoxicpeople.blogspot.ca/2010/05/buyer-beware-unsafe-forum.html
If you get any more names, please feel free to add them here in the comments...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
10 Ways to Find a Good Therapist http://explorewhatsnext.com/10-ways-to-find-a-good-therapist/
Find a Therapist: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php
http://www.apa.org/ or http://locator.apa.org/
http://www.cpa.ca/
http://www.psychology.org.au/
http://www.bps.org.uk/
http://www.helium.com/items/538447-how-to-tell-if-your-psychiatrist-is-a-quack
http://www.ratemds.com/
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/
http://www.guidetopsychology.com/choosing.htm
http://www.guidetopsychology.com/cln_cns.htm
http://www.all-about-psychology.com/fake-psychologist.html
http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_index.php?idx=119&d=1&w=482&e=41071
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBAF0AFC457D5493E&feature=plcp
Helpful info:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201205/
http://www.angelfire.com/zine2/narcissism/narcissism_caution_internet.html
Basically if you aren't sure, or you get a bad feeling, the best place to check would be whatever your local board or association of psychology/psychiatric/therapists is called. If you just have a therapist who is under-trained, inexperienced, or doesn't have any expertise in your area of need, look elsewhere. Remember to ASK for specifics when you're shopping around: are they licensed, how many years have they been working, what is their area of expertise? Do they know anything about dysfunctional families, enmeshment, narcissism. Can they resist society's pressure to view the mother as sacred? Can they empower you, can they give you some help with your confidence and assertiveness? Can they refer you to other resources? Do they seem to help you, or do you just find yourself going back again and again and not getting anywhere?
You are the consumer, you are paying for a service. You have the right to ask questions, and you have the right to stop treatment with someone that you don't think is helping you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here are some notorious names you need to protect yourself from...
PS: you can also do a google search on "Fake Psychologist" or "Fake
Psychiatrist" and you will come across plenty of news articles of people
who faked credentials.Sam Vaknin: poses as a support for Narcissism in various online groups, is a published author, etc... But also has admitted and been diagnosed as being a Psychopath. He is associated with a female follower called Femfree. He definitely has a very unique point of view, and is happy to share his own life experiences on the subject, but be careful not to take everything he says to heart: he is NOT a psychologist or a doctor in the medical sense. He is a highly accomplished Narcissist, but some of what he writes are his own OPININONS, and not necessarily proven or tested in the psychological or medical community. My advice would be to avoid him completely.
Here are some links giving information on Sam Vaknin: http://forum2.aimoo.com/narcissisticpersonalitydisorder/category/
http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/vaknin.asp
http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.ca/search?q=Sam+Vaknin
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Who_is_Sam_Vaknin
http://enpsychopedia.org/index.php/Sam_Vaknin
http://heliologue.com/2006/07/03/sam-vaknins-self-love/
http://narcissism-support.blogspot.ca/2009/03/sam-vakin-diagnosed-psychopath.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Vaknin
http://masksofsanity.blogspot.com/2009/12/psychopath-sam-vaknin-expose.html
Sites he or Femfree are on:
http://samvak.tripod.com/http://bnarcissisticabuserecovery.runboard.com/t11990
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/4727
http://samvak.tripod.com/incest.html
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/4920
http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/02/05/incest.therapy.phillips/index.html
http://thepsychopath.freeforums.org/post157588.html
Excerpt:
Sam Vaknin
From EnpsychopediaIn one of his repetitively & compulsivelye posted online articles, Vaknin reveals in his own words the reason he really runs the Narcissism 'Support' Groups all over the net and so on....
"There is nothing to be learned from the answers to these questions because each individual has her own threshold. No, I simply enjoy the momentary ability to inflict traumatic pain (emotional pain - I am not the physical type and will never harm a woman physically). It is as close as I can get to omnipotence. It is the perfect gender revenge.'...
"As a Jew I would have done the same to Nazis. As a victim of a woman, I celebrate with unrestrained glee my ability to degrade women, to humiliate them, to frustrate them, to make them beg for life itself, for they see their (often imagined) relationship with me as life itself. This is why I abstain from sex. This is why I dazzle them with my intellect and charm and wit and knowledge, with unprecedented intrusive interest in their petty, boring, housewivish lives - and then I let go abruptly. At this stage, they are so brittle, so vulnerable that they crash to a million shreds with the crystalline sound of agony."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
PLEASE USE EXTREME CAUTION; please take the time to make up your own mind about the following... I just want to make sure you are aware of these things in case (because of our upbringing) we show a blindspot to some behaviours:
If you ever come across Barbara Mentor, Antoinette Hdic, or Nikki Lebron be advised that although they have many resources and encourage to gather knowledge about Narcissistic Mothers, they have been known to make personal attacks on people.
EXTREME CAUTION: - Barbara Mentor has made plenty of personal attacks on people who say they are trying to decide on whether to go LC or NC. On some of the groups I have been on, or some of the others, she is not told to stop by the admin staff, but is allowed to run rampant and pretty much run the site as well as make it her personal crusade to bully people into becoming NC. For her it's NC or the highway, although ironically she is apparently still in contact with her Narcissistic husband. Aliases: Camwell, Ness
WARNING: Watch out everyone, I got word from another group that Barbara Mentor has a new group at DoNM Freedom! (Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers) https://www.facebook.com/groups/405538969464208/ -- she's hacked into a members of other groups. This is what Barbara Mentor does when you aren't loyal to her group only... She hacks your Facebook account... Barbara Mentor (AKA Barbara Camwell Ness) has been seen in several other groups as members, as well. She is posting links as Barbara Victim-Survivor. She has been the cause of groups closing down completely. She ingratiates herself with some group members by posting huge amounts of useful/helpful information, and also communicates with them in Private Messages and if you don't do what she wants she uses intimidation, shame, and other tactics. Some of her flying monkeys/associates feel as strongly as her about bullying people to leave their Narcissistic Mother, even when they are not ready to do so. She will say they are stupid or question their intelligence, or make them feel bad for not leaving right away. She seems to forget that she is married to a N man. Somehow she forgets that a daughter leaving an N mother has to have a plan, has to have confidence in herself, has to convince herself she is not a bad daughter for protecting herself, etc: it's a different amount of time for different people. Some women/children of N mothers actually have to save up money, or move to a woman's shelter. Some have to get protection orders or move away secretly. Some fear that their mothers will take their children away from them. My youngest brother stopped communicating with my parents years before I stopped. He didn't hold a grudge against me for that. No one, not Barbara, not your N mother, nobody should tell you to do things you aren't ready to do.
Some more info: caution -- MAY CAUSE TRIGGERS: I think (from some of the information I've been reading) Mary McGrannahan was an unfortunate victim of identity theft and now Barb uses her name and not sure about Sherri Mitchell as there are pictures on the links below and on this site http://therealsherrimitchell.blogspot.com/ that are identical?? (thanks for that info Melissa)... But here are some more links regarding Barbara Mentor/Barbara Victim-Survivor/Camwell/Ness/Mary/Sherri or whoever's names she's using: same stuff comes up on all websites I've Googled - this person is a hacker, is in trouble with the law for Identity Theft and Fraud and is a psychopath (among some even more unsavory information): I think (from some of the information I've been reading) Mary McGrannahan was an unfortunate victim of identity theft and now Barb uses her name and probably Sherri Mitchell's... (please be advised that some are secure sites and you may have to copy and paste them into a new browser as they will not easily go from Facebook) --- http://liarscheatersrus.com/barbara-camwell-2.html -- http://scottshcybercriminals.blogspot.ca/2012/06/
Sounds about as bad as Sam Vaknin, if you ask me!
-----------------------
Nikki Lebron and Antoinette Hdic: they are sisters. They shut down their Facebook group without warning anyone... Left several hundred members floundering and panicking... It all stemmed from when they, the administrators of their group, very publicly humiliated and smeared Barbara Mentor all over their Facebook Group's wall before unceremoniously banning her from the group. It sent a lot of insecure group members into high alert and stress, and several members left before the group was killed off by the very women that made it. Nikki has her own website at http://daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.webs.com/ I am not saying do not go to this site, I am just letting you know what happened to me (and possibly others). I was banned from this website because I sent a private message on FB to them stating that I was not impressed by their methods and that it made it look like our support group was perpetuating Narcissistic behaviour. I did not publicly smear them on the FB wall. But I was booted off that website. No explanation. When I emailed back Antoinette to ask if there was a mistake I received no reply. When I attempted to join again I am not responded to. So that was the end of my association with the above ladies mentioned.
Hopefully if you ever happen to meet up with them or use the same support forums you do not encounter this behaviour. Hopefully your experience will be better than mine and several others.
-----------------------
Danu and Light of: http://daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/
It has come to my attention recently that several people have been banned for no reason (over the years), or banned for saying they believe in God or whatever religion they are proud to be a part of. I have never been a member of that group, however I have several postings/resources in our Files regarding Narcissism... I did not post things I did not agree with on that website (some of which are contained in the links below), I only posted things that I thought might be helpful to the group...
Here are some people's own testimony/opinion/experience with that website.
http://wordsfromthedaughterofanarcissist.blogspot.ca/2010/12/beware-popular-donm-forum-preys-on.html
http://dealingwithtoxicpeople.blogspot.ca/2010_12_01_archive.html
http://dealingwithtoxicpeople.blogspot.ca/2010/05/buyer-beware-unsafe-forum.html
If you get any more names, please feel free to add them here in the comments...
6 comments:
I am commenting on my own blog!
Recently I was kicked out of this help site because of a private comment I made to her about her facebook group.
The facebook group had her sister Antoinette as admin. There was a woman in the group who harassed people. I agree in principle with removing her from the group, but I was not impressed by the admin's smear campaign. It caused a lot of triggers in the group and several members left.
The next day the entire group was gone and several days later I was booted off the other private website that was related.
So although I think the private site is otherwise very good, I just caution you. I spoke to other members and they were all very supportive, so I am sad that I will not be able to talk to them anymore.
What I learned from this was that if you have a group full of ACONs, there is a pretty good chance one of those ACONs (or perhaps more) will be Narcissistic or have traits of a Narcissist. So just keep this in mind if you join ANY support group that is not regulated or moderated by someone other than ACONs...
Watch out for red flags where admins continuously allow one or two people to constantly abuse others or push them around. Watch out for if people speak up and try to be assertive or protest the injustice they feel: if the admin admonish the people who are crying out for help, to me that would be a red flag.
I was also booted off this site more than 2 years ago. I know at least 30 other women who got banned as well.
Danu (who is really Tracy Culleton, a writer of chick-lit and jack-of-all-internet-trades) and Light (who is really Michelle Ede, a carpenter) are much worse than you think.
Here's a link that will give you some info as well as some links to other women, all DoNMs, who have had traumatic encounters with her and her site.
http://narcissistschild.blogspot.com/p/beware-these-sites-1.html
Hi Sweet Violet...
Yes, I recently found out that Danu and Light's site is also a nest of Narcissists... http://daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/
I was actually referring to a completely different group with the same name... http://daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.webs.com/apps/auth/login?why=pw&try=1&wp=1&next=WEBPROTECT-index.htm
Thank you for bringing this to my attention, though, I will definitely edit this after what I have more recently found out...
I am admin of a FB group called Daughters Recovering from Narcissistic Mothers if you would like to join us... https://www.facebook.com/groups/204467262994069/
Thanks, will update...
I am the OWNER and ADMINISTRATOR of "Red Flags Society"... we have no affiliation with the parties mention in this blog and no opinion. I request that the owner of this blog contact me on our website directly on FB and remove any information that mentions our association from your blog immediately!
Thank you for your anticipated cooperation.
Thank you RFS, I am happy to say that I updated my post to remove the information I had posted erroneously and did not update in a timely fashion. My apologies for the mistake. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.
Post a Comment